DEAR JOHN LETTER

I must first start this Blog off by saying that “yes” I did survive this pasT St. Patrick’s Day here in NYC. The reason I say that is because I was hanging out with Mr. Mayhem himself, Tom Pelphrey (Jonathan). After work, a group of us got together at a local pub around the corner from the studio to have a pint and celebrate this most joyous holiday. It was a great deal of fun and we kept the party going until pretty early in morning, if you can imagine.

On another note, the storylines here at the “Light” have been getting really good. Filled with backstabbing, lust, hope, trials and forgiveness, everyone here has really been putting out some amazing work. As I said before, the Jonathan and Coop characters were going to have some interactions coming up and boy, have they! I‘m sure that you, the viewers, won’t be disappointed with how action packed and heated they are! Coop and Jonathan aren’t the only ones getting into it though, Lizzie and Ava start to swap fighting words and punches over Coop (two women fighting over one man…I love it) and the outcome is so sweet! Geez, there is so much I could talk about but I don’t want to necessarily give it all away, LOL!

Another event that just happened was a fun photo shoot that involved Ava, Lizzie, Coop, and Jonathan. Let me just say that Michelle Ray Smith (Ava) looked absolutely stunning in every picture. When we had to partner up, I felt like I was just furniture in the shot with her. As we started to get into the shoot, the photographer was really liking what he saw and was giving us some really great direction, so the pictures I’m sure turned out really hot. At one point Michelle was on a table with me between her legs, leaning in, creating a really sensual shot.

Let me just say though that all the shots were TASTEFULLY done, LOL. I then took a few with Marcy, which were cute and playful but because of our storyline split, they weren’t meant to be too “close." Tom and I hoped to have a few shots together, but no dice. I can’t wait to see these shots and I’m sure once they come out, ya’ll will enjoy them too.

I received a really touching e-mail from a friend of mine that took me by surprise last week. It was an e-mail I was told I would be getting, but wasn’t told about the content of it. After reading it in its entirety, I just sat on my couch thinking about how I could respond in the most direct yet supportive way. This e-mail deals with making sacrifices in your life to go after your dreams. In this case, my friend wants to pursue acting but is afraid of what might happen or won’t happen if she tries.

I wanted to share this with ya’ll because I have received many e-mails and Blog responses talking about the same subject matter. I have omitted certain names and details to keep this person anonymous so enjoy.

“This email is being written to you through tears, so I must warn you that the contents of what you are about to read are full of emotion and perhaps a bit of babbling. The truth is that I have stopped watching Guiding Light since you first made your cameo. Odd I know, but the reality is, is that the day you showed up in "the diner" I got a feeling, similar to the stomach ache you get when you are nervous, and that feeling emerged every time I saw you onscreen afterwards. The feeling is a great big combo of admiration and fear. Admiration that you had the ability to leave all that is conventional and all that you know, regardless of the thoughts and whispers of others, to pursue a dream that you knew was yours to have. And the fear that I may have missed my chance to pursue my dream of performing...because sadly, I was afraid to dream and believe they could come true. I was totally fine, better than fine, in college because I was pursuing something that I enjoyed, something I was good at, and something that was safe...government studies. And I truly didn't believe that I was equipped to pursue "wild dreams" of performing because I didn't really think dreams like that could come true for people like you and I. Well your cameo on GL proved me wrong and threw out my "no wild dreams come true" theory. I've obviously put off emailing you, in hopes that this dream and yearning to perform would perhaps go away. Well, it didn't. A few weeks ago I was at CVS and thought to myself "if John is in that CBS Soaps magazine, then I have to contact him...if he's not, then it's not meant to be." Crazy right!??! Yeah, I totally admit to being nuts. But, sure enough, you were in the CBS magazine and I've finally conjured up the courage to write. I found out a long time ago that my 2 passions are as follows; performing and helping people. I am currently pursuing my Masters in Counseling which totally relates to the second passion...and is going alright (by that I mean I have a 4.0 but I'm not completely satisfied with what I am doing). As far as performing goes, other than Greek Week, singing at church, and skits in class, I haven't acted since my lead in the middle school musical. I was addicted to theatre in middle school. I can honestly say that I have never felt so alive as when I am performing...nothing comes close. I stopped acting because I was brought up in a house where conventional and safe reigned supreme and dreams of acting and performing were not so encouraged. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade my parents for the world, but coming from 2 school employees, they supported the "good benefits, good vacation, and job security" case much more often than supporting rather unconventional aspirations...such as acting. So here I am, trying to give you an understanding of my feelings and praying that you may have some sort of guidance. I try to make myself forget about acting and performing as a career by telling myself things like "Sara you don't want to move to New York," or "you're not thin enough to act," or "you haven't acted since middle school," "how would you even start a career in acting?" you get the point...but regardless of my attempts to make excuses, the dreams, the feelings, and the tears won't seem to go away. I can't even begin to imagine how you will respond to this email. But regardless John, I really appreciate the opportunity to vent...because this desire to act and perform again, these dreams of mine, I don't talk about them...because I really don't know what to say or do and that for me, is an unusual feeling. Thank you for being you and not being afraid to claim what is yours....your dreams.”

My response: “Your boyfriend (my fraternity brother) told me that you might E-mail me, but he didn't exactly warn me that the content would force me to sit down ;p At this moment I really feel inclined to open up a bible and recite or rather type a very prophetic verse from a chapter that has great significance to the human spirit and will. Unfortunately, I have not been as devout as I would choose to be but I AM PICKING MYSELF UP and WILLING MYSELF TO DO IT. You see that I capitalized these two phrases because they are honestly all I did to make my dreams come true (or rather start this chaotic/unsteady journey). What I feel about myself and towards my faith these days and the actions that I must take are the same thoughts and actions that don't have to be applied just to faith alone. These T & A (thoughts and actions) as you can see don't have to be found in a bible either. I know you yourself have already done these two simple things and continue to do so everyday. Getting out of bed when you'd rather stay in, getting a job and being content after receiving your undergraduate degree instead of going back to more schooling just to get your graduate, sending an email to a friend about your dreams and aspirations when you could just tell yourself "be happy with all that you have and don't risk losing it". These are all choices that are on the same plane as the choice I made to not finish school but to head to New York and give acting a whirl. You know, for me it was a “win win” situation in that I would go up to New York and if things worked out in a full school year's time frame that I would stay and I would have won; or if things hadn't worked out I would still be able to come home and finish up the one and half years I had at GMU and thus would have won also.

I guess I could go on and on about this topic because it is involving a close friend of mine (you) and a dream and love for something (acting) that we both share. My advice to you is in short is if Acting is what you love and what you feel then don't be afraid to explore and even pursue it. At this point I could continue with facts about this endeavor both fun and scary in truth, but I won't go into it at this time. You're not looking for those at this point in time, but merely sharing your thoughts and for that I thank you in your honesty. If you wish to talk in more detail about certain aspects of this path, it would be my pleasure, your boyfriend has my contact information;)

You really are an exceptional person, very driven and focused. All my best to you and I hope that at least you find some pertinent information in this e-mail.”

Until next time and please feel free to comment on my response if you thought it was good advice or if to you the reader, it was missing something.