Monday, January 17, 2005

SOFTER MOMENTS

I am sitting here at the computer, with so many thoughts on my mind, knowing that this entry is not going to be like what we’re all accustomed to reading. I’ve got the I-Pod playing in my ears, a song that is both inspirational yet sorrowful, and I’m wondering if I should really be putting this out there? There are a few bright spots to talk about, but I just feel that if I don’t get the not-so-bright-spots out, they will only fester and affect me later. Ultimately, this is MY journal and so it’s time to talk about the everyday moments in just a regular guy’s life and the ups and downs that I know we all have faced at one point or another.

This past week of work went pretty well for me. Every day was different as far as how the filming went (subject matter) and the times that we wrapped up that day's episode. I enjoyed shooting the scenes between Harley (Beth Ehlers) and Coop (me) on Wednesday the 12th; they seemed very natural and heartfelt. Beth has a way of helping you really feel the scenes with her magical character persona. I can honestly say that if I worked with her every day, no two days would be the same, and I could learn something new each day. Basically, the scenes felt good and hopefully they will turn out the same. Friday the 14th didn’t exactly turn out how I would have wanted it too. Let me first say that Lizzie (Crystal Hunt) is a very charged performer, and when she’s ready to go, she’s ready to go. She has done some amazing work, some very emotional work, and on Friday it called for some of that work yet again. We were first up in the day, but I had to film more scenes than she did, so I went straight to hair/make-up, then I had to head up, get changed and get ready for the morning’s shooting to begin.

Now usually, Crystal and I would have an opportunity to run our lines a few times so that we could hear the tempo and just make sure we had worked the kinks out of the dialogue. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, so when it came to a very climactic scene, very charged scene, we or rather I, had some hiccups that caused some serious shooting delays. Because of all the physical actions that were involved and how sporadic the dialogue was, and the lack of a "line run-through," I kept blanking on two simple lines, and so we had to re-shoot this one scene close to ten times. I’d like to say that the whole situation felt very much like quicksand. Once you screw-up, you become aware of the place in the dialogue that seems to be giving you all the trouble, and so you focus on nailing just that one place. As a result, because you’re so focused on that one spot, you begin to take for granted other spots in the scene and they become rough spots because you’re not concentrating and thinking, or rather "listening" to your partner. After all, that is what acting is all about right? We listen to our scene partner and "react" to what they tell us and hopefully make it seem very natural. Well I got so thrown that I wasn’t focusing, I was beating myself up inside, apologizing to everyone on set, and became so aware of the entire scene that every line of mine became a trap in my mind. For those of you reading this that are actors/performers as well, I’m sure that you can understand what I’m talking about. All the producers were in the booth watching this and I’m sure they were commenting as I could see the looks on everyone’s face who wore a pair of headsets. Eventually Crystal looked at me and asked, "Would you like to run the lines?"

"Um, yeah that might be a really good idea," I said.

Once we ran the lines, I was able to get back on track and we completed the scene. I was never so happy to finish one scene since I started on the show. I guess I was really scared of what the producers would say to me being as how the previous week, I was late to work for the second time due to my alarm clock malfunctioning, and now this quicksand incident. The lateness just happened to be on the same day the Executive Producer (Ellen Wheeler) was directing. This was the second time on HER day to direct, that I was late. UNBELIEVABLE! Also, there were several people in the cast who had appointments they had scheduled for later in the day that needed to be rescheduled due to our hour and a half loss of time with my scene. People were very much on edge and tempers were beginning to get very short. They told me not to worry and shake it off, but it was because I couldn’t get two lousy lines straight that the backup occurred and people got pissed. Anyway, that was my week of work going into the weekend, not a great start, I have to say.

The other issue that is really on my mind is about friends. It’s about the friends and special people who we let in and the way that we treat them both good and bad. This weekend was hard for me because I had some very special people in my life get hurt by the things I either did or said. Maybe it was more along the lines of what I didn’t do or say. If I had to pick my biggest flaw, it would have to be that I’m horrible at communicating i.e. calling "friends" back and following through with previously made plans. I think that I actually hurt three or four special people in my life in one weekend, ONE FREAKING WEEKEND. It all came down to laziness and fear of confrontation with each person because I had managed to make plans on Friday and Saturday night with each one of them. I went to dinner and bowling on Friday night with the cast when I had agreed to meet with a friend and their group for drinks downtown. When they called to find out where I was, I was already a bit intoxicated trying to forget about that morning’s bad filming episode, and so I was short on the phone and said some hurtful things that I wish I could take back. All this because they wanted to hang out with me and I went back on what and where I said I was going to be. On Saturday night, another friend of mine in Brooklyn had off work and we had agreed earlier in the week that we would get a bite to eat, some coffee and just hang out and talk. Well I didn’t do that, I went into Manhattan and never called them to tell them I changed my plans. They waited all evening for me to make a call telling them I was ready to go and it never came; some friend, right? To top it off, that same night, friends from Connecticut came in and wanted to go bar hopping and have some fun. I told them I’d call them and that we’d meet up in the city somewhere. I never called them back and as it got later, they called me and I never checked my phone until well after I had missed it. Why did I do that? Why was I so caught up in myself and lazy that I didn’t get in contact with those that I call my friends? I’ve spoken to some of them since these incidents and I was so scared of the conflict that might come that I didn’t know what to say except "sorry". What an asshole thing to do, you know? That seems like such a typical young guy thing to do. Now before you say it, yes I am a young guy but this shouldn’t have happened with friends. I could tell that I hurt them on the phone, but they were so above it. "No worries, next time we’ll hopefully get to hang out," or "You better just make it up to me/us," why couldn’t I just be above being so childish like they were? Why am I so scared of confrontation? I guess I could say that it stems from seeing/hearing my parents fight at an early age and not wanting to be like that ever or say hurtful things to those I love and care about. Granted my parents love each other, I know that, but sometimes people just know how to push each other's buttons and so a fight does happen from time to time, it’s natural.

I could go on about this, I’m sure, but I’m going to move along to some upbeat events that happened since my last entry. The "2005 Hottest Hunks of Daytime Calendar" signing event went extremely well in Virginia. People from all over came out to see Gavin Houston (Remy Boudreau) and myself, and it honestly gave me a very warm welcome feeling inside. My family also came out in full force and bought a few Calendars to send to friends and extended family too. I can’t even tell you how many individuals I met and talked to (a couple individuals wanted us to talk to their friends on their cell phones) who really appreciated not only the work we were doing, but supporting a great cause and coming to an area that rarely gets visits such as these. Whether or not it was my hometown, I would go to whatever state, county or mall to meet individuals who support us. You’re the reason why we ("Guiding Light") have been around for over sixty years ultimately. Come to think of it, maybe we should hold an online contest to see which geographic location would like us to come to their area for a "meet and greet". Let’s say the top two finishers get….us out there. Something to think about maybe; let me know what you think of that idea! Anyway, I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who came out to support us and the Charity we were with and if you haven’t purchased a copy and want to get a copy of this calendar, just go to www.proeventsinc.comand follow the instructions.

I have to say that I’m feeling a bit better now that I’ve gotten some of this out on the table, granted there is still so much more but perhaps another time. I have started responding to some of my "blog" comments but unfortunately some posts will not allow me to respond due to the fact that they aren’t registered users. If I haven’t sent you a response yet, patience is a wonderful virtue that I’m still learning myself; I’m getting to all of them. Finally, thanks ya’ll for listening/reading these posts and again a special thanks from Gavin and I to those who made it out to see us last weekend (love you Mom, Dad, Gene, Erin and the rest of the Driscoll and Haynes clan).

49 Comments:

Blogger nhfan said...

Hey John,

Want to say what a great journal entry this is. Its great to see you post your thoughts and help deal thru some issues that come up.

All of us have had issues regarding friends and plans. Please do not be too hard on yourself. The reasons we do things are always a mystery. But try to take comfort in the fact that most people, myself included, can relate to your situation.

In regards to work. As difficult as it may be, try not to beat yourself too hard over a couple of mishaps. It is evident to all GL fans, as well as the crew at CBS, I am sure, that your work is top notch. Everyone in every profession has up and down days. I am a sales guy, and have learned that one or 2 bad days can not hold you down. Just pick yourself back up and continue to do the great job you are doing.

Again, thanks for your sincerity on this site.. very reassuring to know how "down to earth" you are. Looking forward to hearing from you. Please be in touch.

cjearly@comcast.net

Chris

January 17, 2005 at 8:23 AM  
Blogger Em said...

I feel a little foreign here as I'm not a soap junkie and I've only seen your show twice, but I came across a newspaper article that reminded me about this blog. The timing is kind of ironic...

Rest assured you’re not alone. Sometimes maintaining a social life can feel like a job itself. I know I’ve blown people off who deserve much more from me, and recently I got it shoved right back in my face by someone I thought was way too good of a person to just stand me up. Truth is we all do it, and every now and then it happens to us.

Plans change, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Where things go wrong is how it’s handled. If these are people that know you better than to think you’re blowing them off, then I wouldn’t be too concerned. Of course they deserved a courtesy call, but I doubt this instance will ruin the friendship. If this was someone you didn’t know really well, that can be tricky. In my case, I didn’t know the guy extremely well so I took it personally when he would say “let’s meet up later” and then not call back. How could I know his intentions? I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but after a few times I got the hint. He could have saved some time and my opinion of him had he been honest. Actions speak louder than words. Make sure the people that you care about don’t question your feelings toward them.

What it comes down to is accountability and respect. You’re friends want you to be accountable for what you say you will do. If your plans change, out of respect, you should call them and let them know… not let them wait around for you.

If the worst does happen, if you do feel like you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, sincerely apologize. If you mean it, they’ll know.

January 17, 2005 at 2:42 PM  
Blogger Lara-Ann said...

John--

What a day to check the blogs! You did a very good job, this entry is a keeper. But I got a quick note on your weekend troubles and a remedy you may want to try even though you are not going to like it.

Now first off- I don't know of you but what you write in your blog, and you don't know me. So please don't take this advice personally if you find it offesive(an you crazy fans- don't be outraged).

Next- you should not feel guilty about choosing your co-workers over your buddies- you're not in an office type or food service atmosphere- you need to be comfortable with these people both forwards and backwards- so it's good to spend that time off set just working the times together.

BUT- okay I hate buts-

However John, your friends should not be left to hang on your string. Now you write like you really care about them. So you need to take some alone time to sit and think. You are going to hate this but unfortuantly it's a part of life-

You need to consider who you want to be freinds with and who is just going to have to be happy getting a christmas card and the occassional 'just because' letter.

It's hard and it can make you really upset but you're crossing the bridge into 'adulthood' and choices need to be made.

Now the answer to all your problems:

YOU ARE TAKING ON WAY TOO MUCH- TRYING TO MAKE TOO MANY OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY!

You said you are emailing everybody back that posts to the site, right? Well, I'm sorry but hunny that is one more obligation that you don't need in your life. You post to your blog to touch base and you read the responses- answer them within the blog. It may seem easy to do now- but it's stress that you don't need cause you know what will happen?

You start a blog- you post your thoughts- other people post a response- you email all people back- your spending 3 hours a week emailing fans back and forth- no time for blog- no time for any other fans- spending 15 more minutes a week emailing people back and forth- so tired of emailing everybody back - you stop all together- thing that gave you some joy now gives you none.

This is deadmans curve your turning down. You'll get burnt out and you'll be stressed out.

Your priority should be yourself. Don't think of it as losing friends. It's ok to be friendly- yes, but friends- no. Thats not your job. Your job is not to be there for everybody you know or everybody you grew up with or every person you met at college.

I know this is confusing and I know you may not want to consider it- but when you take control of who you are and what you do with your time- its a win, win. Don't look at it as being childish or self-centered because really it's not. You have to decide who and what to make time for (this includes your job and your partner) and I know better than anybody that it really stinks that there is only 24 hours in a day.

Take care-
Lara-ann

January 17, 2005 at 2:57 PM  
Blogger Shanna said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 17, 2005 at 4:48 PM  
Blogger Shanna said...

Hey John,

You did great with this blog entry. I'm sorry you had a rough time at work with those scenes you were working on with Crystal Hunt. We all have Good days and Bad days and I'm sure your collegues could tell you similar stories.

John just take a deep breath and let you mind clear and system level.

As to the problems with friends-we all have some sort of problem(s) at some point at working schedules out with friends and yes at some point friends will be hurt but the sitautions can and will be worked out.

Be who you are John that's all people want... That's who friends saw to begin with.

Take Care,

Shanna
wheels9_78@yahoo.com

January 17, 2005 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Hi John,

First, I want to say that I admire you for putting your feelings and emotions out here for everybody to read. It takes a lot of guts to open yourself up the way you have.

As for work, don't beat yourself up over your mishaps. If you asked any of your collegues, they'd probably all tell you they've had similar days. If they say they've never had a bad day, they're probably lying.

As for your friends, I agree with Lara Ann. You are really going to have to sit down and think about where certain people are going to fit in your life. If they really care about you and your well-being, they'll understand why you're letting some friendships go, while keeping others and starting new ones.

You're no longer in college, you're not living with your parents anymore, and you've started what must be a very challenging, sometimes tiring, career. You're an adult with a lot more responsibilities than probably just a year ago. Times change as must everything else. Just remember that the bad times now will pass just as they did before you started on this new part of your life. Take care.

Susan

January 17, 2005 at 6:52 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Hey John,
I just wanted to let you know that all the work you do is appreciated very much. I really enjoy watching you on GL and think you are a very talented actor. I really enjoyed meeting you in NY for the Luncheon.

As for your idea about the contest I think it is a really good one and I know if you ever came to my homestate I would go to see you again actually I will be attending the event in Vegas.

January 17, 2005 at 6:59 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Hey John,
I've been reading your blog since the beginning but haven't gotten around to commenting yet but I just had to say how great it is that you keep up with the blog and really let us in on your life.
It seems like you've had a hard time of things. I know what it's like to avoid confrontation and the trouble it can cause. I spent a good part of my life getting walked on because I just didn't wanna deal with confrontation (and in the process I hurt some people I cared about and lost a few friends). It takes some times but sometimes dealing with a few minutes of hard confrontation is better in the long run and saves everyone some hardache. I hope you don't mind my commenting on that. I admire that you shared that in your blog. It's nice to know I can relate to someone whom I admire as a talent.
And I relate to your mishaps on the set too. I do a lot of singing and I've had the same problem. I've gone flat on a note and once it's pointed out and I'm focusing so much on that one note the rest of the song goes to hell too. It's a horrible cycle. I guess that comes with any kind of performing.
I am looking forward to seeing Coop more on GL though, I don't feel he's been in the storylines nearly enough. I've been watching the show since I was 6 (I'm almost 21 now) and I'm always amazed with the great actors they find. I'm really impressed with the young talent right now. Tom, Stephanie,and you are all just so amazing. Anyway, I don't want to take up all your time, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and I hope things start looking up for you soon.

Keep the Faith,
Michelle

January 17, 2005 at 7:59 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Hey John,

I'm sorry to here you've had such a rough time lately, but don't be so harsh on yourself. I do the same thing though, I'm always hard on myself and push myself to hard. Its a hard thing to get over. But you gotta realize these people are your friends for a reason, yeah they might be a little mad at first and call you flaky but, they'll get over it and you should too. I'm sure they know how sincere your appology was, and that you know that you were wrong. I think you should just take a minute to relax and realize that it will all be ok, and things will get better. So cheer up. You will all move on and it will blow over. My parents fought alot when I was little too, they are still together, but its hard to see two people that are suppose to love eachother so much be so mean. And I hate to cause problems and conflicts with people, especially my friends and family. Thats my biggest fear-having people mad at me. But sometimes you just have to stop trying to please everyone at once.

I also wanted you to know how much we appreciate your hard work on GL. We really do! I'm an actress too, and I know that when you mess up one thing, thats all you can think about. You may eventually get that one line right, but then the rest of your scene goes to hell. But just to let you know, I've never seen you have an "off day" on GL. You always do fantastic work. So does Beth Ehlers, I love when you guys do a scene together! You have really been doing excellent work, give yourself a break!

And for the record--I want you to come to Mississippi or somewhere close, lol. :) But I'll see you in Las Vegas if you are still going.

Best Wishes,
Erin
erin42@starmail.com

January 17, 2005 at 8:49 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Hey John,
I got cut off the first time and it posted before I wanted it to, I am new at this. I am going to try again.

I just wanted to let you know that all the work you do is appreciated very much. I really enjoy watching you on GL and think you are a very talented actor. I really enjoyed meeting you in NY for the Luncheon.

As for your idea about the contest I think it is a really good one and I know if you ever came to my home state I would go to see you again actually I will be attending the event in Vegas.

I hope you have a better week this week. And I hope you stay on the show for a long time. I really enjoy your character, even though the character of Coop is new he is one of my favorite characters.

January 17, 2005 at 10:43 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Hi John!
First off, I haven't posted as a commenter in awhile, you are doing a great job with the blog. Its very nice to learn things about those that you watch on tv. You have such a heart for the fans and an evident love for what you do. Its very inspiring... I wish I had a job like that -not acting mind you... I'd be frozen in place and unable to speak!

Don't beat yourself up so much. Everyone has their off day. You probably felt rushed and not as prepared as you'd like to feel. I wouldn't expect anyone to give 100% all the time at their job. And I bet all the veterans on the show have had days like that. So you aren't the first, and you won't be the last! :)

As for the friend thing, everyone has blown off a friend at some point. And it sounds like you have full life with lots of social options AND friends! You can't please everyone all the time.

But I have been at the point where your friends were recently. Not a great feeling of course... talk it out though. I totally hate confrontations as well but sometimes it totally strengthens relationships. Or if the time has passed to talk it out, just do something nice for that friend... I don't know, it might make a difference since you are a boy... but if they have a favorite place/movie/hobby... go do something with them. Go out to dinner somewhere... You don't have to get all mushy or "oh I love you as a friend" type thing, just show them that you care. Surprise them by picking them up and going out or something.

I'm really looking forward to the show. I hope we see more of Lizzie/Coop together or I'm still sort of hoping for a Tammy/Coop pairing. That was my original thought! Good luck and don't worry so much! :)

God bless!
Heather

January 18, 2005 at 7:16 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Hey John,

Thanks for sharing this. I know it usually helps to "talk" about something, even if only to get your thoughts straight in your own mind.

As for the trouble at work...just let that one roll off your back. It was a bad day, which we all have, but in retrospect, doesn’t the good far outweigh it? Just keep giving 100% as I know you do and you’ll be just fine.

Well…the work stuff is the easy part. Friendships are a wonderful gift, but not easily maintained. So, you had a bad weekend and you didn’t hold up your end. I’d be pretty ticked at you too...BUT beyond that I would understand that these things do happen sometimes and realize that I’ll probably need the same consideration from you one day down the road. Friendship revolves around give and take. This weekend you took, so next time you’ll be the one giving.

That being said, I agree that you have to be careful how many things you take on. You can’t do it all, so there’s not a lot of use in trying. This way, as long as you’re not agreeing to something every time you turn around, you (and your friends) can be more confident in knowing you will keep your word when you say you will be somewhere or do something with them. The key is in not over-committing yourself.

By the same token, you don’t have to close yourself off entirely. These aren’t dire straights by any means. Clearly you have a big heart for people and it is inherent in you to put yourself out there. Otherwise this wouldn’t even be an issue for you. So don’t go changing who you are; just know your limits.

Anyway, I feel like this may as well be MY blog with how I prattle on sometimes. But it’s my nature. LOL. Again, I had a blast in Chantilly and am counting the days till Vegas!

Amanda
Amanda@michaelparkfans.com

January 18, 2005 at 7:20 AM  
Blogger Cynn said...

John~
You're being way too hard on yourself. People get busy..things come up. Yeah..phone calls to these people would've been nice, but they should all somewhat understand--at least if they know you well enough. You can't please everybody and I think that's what you're trying to do. Try to please yourself before you move on to everybody else. There will be other times to hang out with these friends. They're not going anywhere. You just have to make sure that you don't make this a regular occurance--the not calling back and not showing up thing (oh wait..i forgot who i was talking to for a minute! ;-} ) As for work...you're stressing yourself out too much. People have off days. You can be perfect all the time, nobody can. I'm sure the producers, and other actors, understand that. Ok--I think that's it. I'll catch up with you later. Hope you cheer up, things could always be worse.

Cynth

oh yeah--and if it makes you feel any better, I fell asleep by midnight Saturday night anyways!

January 18, 2005 at 12:37 PM  
Blogger judy said...

hey john
i just found out about your blog on opera digest. and i just signed up too. i am from virginia as well i live in herndon. i know that at my job i mess up at times but then i know that you learn somthing new every day. that is what i keep on telling my self. i work at dulles and at times it can get so busy that i can not keep up but i try too. i really like gl alot it is my fave i have been watching it since i was nine years old and i am now 31. i hope that you have a good day and week try to stay warm it is very cold out there. please read my blog and i hope that others who post in here can read it as well thanks and take care

January 18, 2005 at 3:38 PM  
Blogger lynn said...

Hi John! After reading your latest blog, I just had to chime in with my two cents worth! Welcome to adulthood!
I can empathize with trying your dammdest to avoid confrontation! Growing up with a brother who always managed to piss off my parents, I grew up as the "peacemaker" who always tried to do everything right and walked around on eggshells.
As cliche as it sounds, your not being able to get through the scene no matter how hard you were trying, well, you WILL look back on it one day, and realize it wasn't a life threatening moment. Although at the time you thought it was.
I used to be a cook for a private school. We catered the open house for prospective students and their family. We are talking about having over 1,300 people to serve. We're talking high dollar food and massive quantities! Well, literally 5 minutes before we opened the doors to the people in line, one of the tables completely collapsed! The sterno that was used to keep the hot foods hot wound up setting the floor on fire! Three different kinds of meatballs are rolling around the floor. Vegetables from the veggie platters are everywhere, and cheese cubes from the cheese platters are everywhere! Talk about just wanting to die!!! I'm in dress whites and people are everywhere. At the time I wanted to just go off and have a good scream. It took 3 12 hour days to just prepare for this event!
However, looking back on it, yes, I can smile,now, thinking of meatballs rolling around, my boss using every four letter word imaginable, etc. Yes, my coworkers and I took a lot of kidding from everyone, but I learned at that moment, that when things uncontrollable happen, you just have to say screw it, and keep your head up! No, it's not easy, but you will survive no matter how much you just want to sink into the floor.
As for your inattention to your friends, well, yes, you screwed up big time. Instead of replaying everything in your mind (that's what I do) come up with a solution to make it up to them. I hurt my best friend's feeling by not showing up after cancelling our plans twice already. And she was pissed and rightly so. And she let me know about it in no uncertain terms. I took what she said to heart, and realized a lot of what she said was true, I did take our friendship for granted. We used to belong to a drum and bugle corp when we were teens. I sent her flowers with little drums, horns, and flags, and a very long heartfelt apology. Yes, we are still best friends today. So, my advice is take responsiblity for your actions, call and make plans with each of your friends, and no matter what, keep those plans. Whether in writing or by phone express how sorry you are, use humor, that always helps.
Also, what I've done for years is keep a journal. It's helped me not to be so hard on myself. And once it's written down, I don't dwell on the bad stuff that much!
Hope this has helped!
Lynn
Orioles37@aol.com

January 18, 2005 at 5:24 PM  
Blogger CandiceMack said...

Hey J,it's Candice.Hey buddy I know it has been a rough time for you with being late to work and of course the importance of friendship.I should know exactly how you feel and it's funny because I have been late to work alot (I work at a car repair shop)I try to be the best that I can and even that doesnt work out good enough so I feel so stress that I go out and run for about ten mintues and if I dont finish that I go to Starbucks lol.

Just remember this John,you're human not a robot.

Oh BTW,I will see you in October at the fan club maybe before then.

Candice
(PS U might want to check out the new entry)

January 18, 2005 at 7:02 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Hi John. Sorry you had trouble with your friends. I have done the same thing to my friends and they got mad but forgave me. It just happens but you end up feeling bad about it anyway.
I also wanted to say that I love your work on GL. I think you are a terrific actor. I love watching your scenes with Crystal. I hope Lizzie and Coop get together soon. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and I cant wait to read your next blog. I have just started my blog so you can read mine if you want. Hope to hear from you soon.


lisabinder22@yahoo.com

January 18, 2005 at 11:13 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

John,
Regardless of the few events that have taken place recently, it doesn't make you a bad person. Sometimes things happen. Bad days, forgetfulness and even feelings of being overwhelmed occur. Needless to say, you're a great guy and a true friend will understand and forgive. I'm not saying take advantage of this forgiveness, but appreciate it, knowing that people are allowed to make mistakes.
I seriously hope you feel better John. You have a bright future ahead of ya, and don't forget it!

Amber
smartie58@hotmail.com

January 18, 2005 at 11:28 PM  
Blogger jess said...

Hey John,
This is all new and exciting for you. There are so many demands, and you can't meet them all. I'm sure your CT friend understands, and being that it's close by, I don't think it would be a huge deal. No sweat, I'm sure. Besides I think you made up for it beforehand... b-day trips. ;)

later!

January 19, 2005 at 8:34 AM  
Blogger Rick said...

John,

Hang in there. Some days just suck! Okay, some weeks too.....

I've done some acting in my life and I know the pain of screwing up lines, especially when you know the lines. I know how the whole thing snowballs out of control. The actors and producers you work with know how it can be too. Don't worry about it.

As far as your friends, all you can do is try to be better. They're your friends, they'll understand.

I loved your post (hated that you were having a lousy time), but it was very honest and from the heart. It took guts to put it out there like that. I applaud you.

I enjoy your work on GL. I've been watching the show since 1980 (man, do I feel old) and always enjoy the work done by everyone on the show.

Take care of yourself and give yourself a break. You're human.

Rick

January 19, 2005 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger Rick said...

John,

Hang in there. Some days just suck! Okay, some weeks too.....

I've done some acting in my life and I know the pain of screwing up lines, especially when you know the lines. I know how the whole thing snowballs out of control. The actors and producers you work with know how it can be too. Don't worry about it.

As far as your friends, all you can do is try to be better. They're your friends, they'll understand.

I loved your post (hated that you were having a lousy time), but it was very honest and from the heart. It took guts to put it out there like that. I applaud you.

I enjoy your work on GL. I've been watching the show since 1980 (man, do I feel old) and always enjoy the work done by everyone on the show.

Take care of yourself and give yourself a break. You're human.

Rick

January 19, 2005 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger Kimi said...

Hey John,

It is refreshing to hear such honesty!

Sounds to me like you could use a little Sigur Ros on
you ipod. If you know them...then you know what I mean.
If not, well, they are hard to describe...Just like "Amazing Grace",
they are uplifting and heartbreaking all at the same time. And
like nothing you've ever known before (kinda like me ;)). I recommend "njósnavélin (the spy machine)" which is track 4 on Sigur Ros's ().

Of course, this could just be my idea of letting go :)

Cheers,
Kimi
www.geocities.com/gracefullydefiant/index.html

January 19, 2005 at 10:51 AM  
Blogger Monica said...

Hey John,

I think it so sweet of you to care about other people's feelings. In this day and time, most people our age could care less who they hurt. Hope all is well

Monica
Neema220@hotmail.com

January 19, 2005 at 3:59 PM  
Blogger pierre antoine said...

John,
True friends will forgive anything. I'm certain your friends know that your life is taking you in a special direction and will probably give you a wider berth than that given to us mere mortals.
If I may say something about your fear of confronation. Many people have this fear. While it's not always possible to avoid confrontation completely, it is possible to minimize the risk of confrontation. Remember this: you want to please your friends, so you don't say no to their desires to be with you. But you disappoint them when you don't show up. Solution: don't make promises. Say "I'll try to be there; I'll try to hook up with you; I'll try to call you." This way, if you don't get together, etc. they are not disappointed and you do not feel guilty.
Love your work on GL. Good luck to you.

January 19, 2005 at 4:29 PM  
Blogger Elise said...

Hey John,
Hope you're having a better week, and wanted to let you know that I'm heading to NYC next week for several grad school auditions mid-week to the weekend. Wondered if you'd be in town... and no pressure at all, but it'd be great to catch up with someone from George Mason that has really hit it big!

Peace, Elise... by the way, my BLog is now up and running, so if you have a moment to respond, if not, take it easy~

January 19, 2005 at 6:23 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

John,
I just wanted to say hey because this is my first message to you. I absolutely fell in love when I saw you the first time on GL.It was just recently that I found your blog in the Soap Opera Digest. I have been wondering if there was a way to contact you. I just wanted to know some things about you. I read where you like sports and I just wanted to know which sport is your favorite. I love sports. GO ALABAMA!!!! I also wanted to know if you love being on GL, because I love you being on there. And my last question is how old are you? I have not found that out yet. I'll keep watching for you on GL. Good Luck!

Love, Jordan
jrwalker20@comcast.net

January 19, 2005 at 7:36 PM  
Blogger Marcy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 19, 2005 at 7:50 PM  
Blogger Marcy said...

Wowza! First, I think it's really cool that you and Stephanie are blogging--as a lifelong fan of GL, I enjoy learning little tidbits about the fabulous actors behind the characters I have grown to adore.

I see that you're being offered plenty of sound advice, and I don't really have anything significant to add...but I do have a few thoughts to throw out there.

No matter what our profession, we all have days where we feel grossly inadequate. In general, I think a lot of us are too hard on ourselves. Because you are in a profession where your work is judged by not only your superiors...but a public viewership, the pressures must feel compounded. Don't let the occasional bad day drag you down. You're obviously fantastic at your craft, so keep your chin up!

As for your friends, you have to pick and choose what's most important. I'm not going to preach because as much as I HATE to confess...I've been in your shoes more times than I care to admit. Nobody's perfect, we're all flawed, and your true friends will hang in there as long as you don't make a habit out of disappointing them. I'm guessing your world has been flip-flopped upside down recently and you are still trying to get your priorities straight. While it's not an excuse...it's understandable. The fact that you recognize how your actions affected others has got to count for something...

I'm diggin' your online contest idea. Of course, I'm going to be selfish here and suggest that ya'll visit good ole Lawrence, KS. I know...Kansas is probably the LAST place you guys would want to visit, but it's not as bad as it sounds (Lawrence is a diverse, college town). I'm sure your coworker Marj Dusay could tell you some nice things about Lawrence--she went to KU and still has some ties with the Theater Dept. Anyway, that's my vote!

Keep smiling and take care!

Marcy
snlglatwtgirl@yahoo.com

January 19, 2005 at 7:54 PM  
Blogger Racquel said...

Hey,

John don't beat yourself up, after all you are only human. We all have those days that you just want it to end. And your friend situation, don't worry you are not the only one that has problems returning phone calls but your friends wont feel bad because they know you are like that right?

I just dont get the hang of this blog thing so I was just able to read your response to me about your age and thing. Any ways my guess is that your about 24 yrs. I am right, right?
Racquel
P.S
please if you are responding please respond to ruchea@aol.com, as I say the whole blog thing not familar with it yet. Have Good A Day.

January 20, 2005 at 12:52 AM  
Blogger Sharon said...

HEY JOHN..I'm sorry to hear about your bad week, but I think you did AWESOME by apologizing..you said your weakness was confronting people, but you got the courage to do it and that means something! :o) Hope you have an awesome week- I'll be praying for you and rooting you on :)


Fresno, CA
starletmeb_003@hotmail.com
"...Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserves. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13

January 20, 2005 at 11:25 AM  
Blogger Samantha J said...

John-
So, I'm just getting used to this blog thing (I actually posted a Q & A about me today) My first blog and probably my last lol! Check it out if you get a chance!It's under either Samantha J or Samantha Joelle (I don't know how to use this very well lol I think I made two or something ...)
Anyways, about you... I think you are an amazing guy. The fact that you care so much about the people you love is so heart warming. I am told all the time that I'm a worrier, which I know is true. I always want to make sure that things are perfect, but I know they never will be. A big part of my problem is like yours, confrontation scares be to death... And I get so mad at myself when it does! But the thing is that if your friends truly care about you they will be there no matter what. Don't let it worry you, the truth is that things seem worse to us (worriers) than it does to those (non-worries) I've learned that from experience!! So don't fret, just act normal and things will be fine!
As for GL, I know exactly what you mean about getting that one line in your head that you just can't seem to get out right... you focus so hard on it and then as soon as you get there you freeze and everytime it happens you get more and more frustrated and it makes it even worse! (I've done some High School theatre and took a class @ Pitt last semester so I have definately been there, and the added pressure makes it 10 times worse!) But you know what? When you finally get it, it's over and you should be proud of yourself for finishing it, and the next time you just go out there and do it even better! You have so much talent, one bad day is nothing to dwell on... I've also found that once I have a bad day all I need to do is hear my nephew's voice and my whole problem seems blown out of proportion... It was just so simple when I was his age...I sometimes wish I could go back to when life was so simple! I think you should try calling up your niece/ nephew and I bet you will feel better!
As for responding, as much as I would love to hear from you, I definately understand if you can't respond...
I just want you to know that the fact that you put yourself out there and wrote this entry took a lot of guts and I admire you for taking that leap! I assume you do have a girlfriend, and I think she should know that you are a definate catch and she should never let you go... Guys like you are rare, so please don't change! Keep up the good work on GL! And don't let the little things bother you!
Until your next post,
Sam

January 20, 2005 at 7:33 PM  
Blogger Clint said...

Hey John,

Found my way here kinda by mistake. Saw a link and decided to check it out. Really admire you for putting yourself out there like that. That shows a certain quality in a person to be able to do that. I will keep this brief. You really seem to have settled into your role as Coop rather well. Fan reaction is strong in your favor so you shouldn't have too much to worry about. Rookie mistakes are bound to happen and everyone knows that. I have watched GL for awhile( I am loyal that way and always liked the character development soaps allow) and you fit right in. I actually go to NYC quite a bit( may be applying to NYU grad school), and know a little something about bar hopping( Barracuda, g lounge, Splash bar) to name a few. Great city.

Keep up the good work and relax and enjoy the experience. And when you make it big, remember GL in your acceptance speeches! :)

Clint

January 20, 2005 at 9:10 PM  
Blogger Lizi said...

Hey ther, John!

It's natural to get into one of those moods where you just want to gripe about everything. And when you have so much to do, it's hard to balance friends in there. It's hard for me, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be for someone with such an insanely hectic acting schedule.

As for the bad day on the set? I don't think you have ANYthing to worry about there. The end result, to all the scenes I've seen with you in them, have been incredible, and I'm sure it'll stay that way. You are one of the best actors GL has seen since I started watching it.

Things'll get better. Your friends are fools if they stop being friends with you over a couple mistakes. Granted you made mistakes, but in the scheme of things, I think friendships can withstand things like that.

I hope things work out for you!
~~Lizi

January 20, 2005 at 11:02 PM  
Blogger guidinglight4eva said...

John,
This is John..sounds funny. Finally I'm on Blog! It took me two weeks to figure this thing out and now I'm so super psyched, I was getting sick of GL, but then you came along and you're a cutie and make it bearable again. Love it. Also, your work with Lizzie-- granted she is not my fav and far too platinum-- but the verbal tennis you share makes me want to go straight (wink*) and be her. I honestly postpone our rehersals of "Mr. Saigon"(Madam Man's on South Beach) just to watch the show in the afternoons. I would tivo, but I'm such a ditz with technical stuff... even if it is for my favorite Cooper!:-)
Now, you just wrote something fairly sentimental. Don't stress about filming, handsome.. we've all got bad days.. but that makes the good days better. As far as your friends go, as long as it's not something that you always do to them, friends will forgive you if you try to make it better, especially the "special people you let into your life" (Girlfriend I assume.. why won't you tell us??). Dying to know with the rest of the girls!
When are you coming to Orlando or Miami for the calendar? Please tell.
Your Biggest Fan down South, with the coolest name ever, John

January 22, 2005 at 7:17 PM  
Blogger JennaBean said...

Hey John!

Sorry to hear that you had a tough time with filming last week, but hey, sometimes you have good days and sometimes you don't. The one great thing about Blogs/journals is that you can let out all your feelings and frustrations about things that are bothering you, and don't worry... You are doing a great job on the show!

As far as the issues with your friends go, I have been going through the same stuff lately too, and it was relieving to see that I am not the only one who has been going through it. I have felt like a bad friend lately because I have canceled plans and forgotten to return phone calls, but in the end they will forgive and forget, and I just keep reminding myself that my friends are the most important thing in the world. But anyway, don't worry about it, I am sure that they were not that mad and will be happy to make plans for another time.

Well have a great week, hope you are having fun in all this snow that we are getting. If you are snowed in and bored, drop me a line, I am going crazy over here!

Jerseyjenna@hotmail.com

January 22, 2005 at 8:23 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Hey John. This is Lisa again. I already commented once but I'm going to again. I am new to this blog and I just got done reading your favorites entry and I couldn't believe how much we have in common. I am hoping we could talk sometime. I am thinking about going to the October event. I have never been to any GL events but I really want to this year. I dont get to travel hardly at all cause I never seem to have the money to go anywhere but I am going to travel this year. I hope I get to meet you. If you get any time to respond to this, you can either comment on my blog or email me. I hope to hear from you. Keep up the good work on GL. You are doing fantastic.


lisabinder22@yahoo.com

January 23, 2005 at 11:06 AM  
Blogger Brian said...

Hey John,

Wanted to post a comment, and basically just give you a big HUG......I've been watching GL for YEARS, and ever since you've been on, I've been glued to the screen.... you seem like such a genuinely sweet person, and add to the fact that you're such a hunk! I lived in Virginia Beach, and only wish I had gotten up north to visit you when you guys were doing the signing.......if you ever wanna come vacation down here, I could definitely take you out on the town.....

Anyways, as to what you were saying in your post, I think that it's so awesome you have this avenue to vent your feelings, and I think that things aren't as bad as they seem for you......You're still a relative newbie to the show, and I'm sure it's to be expected......hugs. As far as you friends, yeah, it's tough being such the nice guy that you have lots of friends wanting to be with you, but you gotta remember to do what's best for you, and look out for yourself.... make yourself happy first....!!!

Hang in there, k? :) Enjoy your iPod.....any chance you got a Pet shop boys song on there? They're one of my fav bands......have been dying to know what type of music you enjoy.

Take care,
Brian :)

January 24, 2005 at 6:13 PM  
Blogger jess said...

Time for a new post, John Boy

January 27, 2005 at 7:53 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

Hi there!

It's funny, I had just read your profile in SOD when I thought, what a neat guy. So when I happened to find your blog, I just thought I'd write in and say hi!

I just got my IPod for XMas, so I know how great it is to have one.

I read your post about work and it's kinda strange to read. I mean, most of the times we don't think about acting as a "job". I mean, we just see waht's on the air and that's it. Keep your chin up, I've watched you a couple times and I think you do a terrific job!!!

Maybe I'll finally stop watching Days and make GL my soap of choice. I've heard such great things about it since Ellen Wheeler took over.

January 29, 2005 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

Hey hows it going,

I must say first I am a huge fan, I think your work is AWESOME! Speaking of Awesome having a blog where fans can come read and get a little more insight into your life is soo cool, and I for one must say that I apprecaite you taking the time out to do so. I will keep checking back and I def will stay tuned in!

January 29, 2005 at 8:00 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

I just recently found your blog after reading a Soap Opera Digest article about you. I really enjoy your character on the show and I love watching you work on Guiding Light. I know you have been on there for awhile, but I sincerely enjoy the show and your character. I feel you are a talented actor and play Coop well.

I finally was able to visit your site and I'm very interested in your entries. You're true to how you are feeling, instead of fluffing everything to smooth over what you are really feeling. I am glad that you are able to share your thoughts and feelings and show that you're just a regular person like the rest of us. You just happen to have a special job. Thank you again for your posts.

Sincerely,
Vona

February 8, 2005 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger jess said...

FYI john: jesako.blogspot.com

February 13, 2005 at 11:59 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

Hey John,

I am a big fan of yours and the work I have seen you do on GL! I can relate to your last post quite well. Im 25 yrs old and live on the uws on Manhattan and before I moved here while doing a couple shows in college the hiccup thing happened to me, luckily during rehearsal and not on stage in front of an audiance. Anyway, I love reading your Blog, I hope February has found you in better spirits and things are going well. I'm sure you have tons of things to do and are busy at work as your story heats up. Anyway, I'd be quite interested in talking to you and about your experience at GL. My roomate now works at Planet Hoolywood in Times Square and is actively finishing his last year of college at City College and wanting to start the soap track soon. Im sure you could give tons of pointers, I did read that you used to work at Bubba Gumps! Lucky you to get such a big break. Anyway, I work in midtown on 43rd street at Manhattan Theatre Club and would be interested in talking sometime. You can write back at mark3pm@hotmail.com Take care and continues success at GL!

February 13, 2005 at 5:43 PM  
Blogger DrpTpGrl said...

Hey John!

Just trying to contact you after two years. Sorry it's been so long since I've talk to you! I didn't have your email :(

In case you forgot, I'm your Chi O little sister:)!!!

Congrats on GL! Email me when you get a chance! drptpgrl@hotmail.com

~Allyson

February 16, 2005 at 3:18 PM  
Blogger Kerry said...

Hi John,
I am beginning to get worried. It's been so long since your last blog entry. I hope you don't feel you put to much out there and your still going to be posting.
Everyone has said the same thing over and over... don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff. Everything works out in the end.

February 23, 2005 at 5:27 AM  
Blogger amber#1 said...

John,
It is about time for a new BLOG. We do wait for them but next time be faster on putting them on. Loved hearing about the Emmy parties, that had to be great. Something in your blog did upset me. Why would you even think that anyone would see you as gay?? Many of us did see you in the soap digest with the somewhat cute bleached blond. So that should tell everyone that you are straight. I hope they start showing more of you one the show because you and Lizzy are very fun and intersting to watch. Keep on trucking. Amber

July 1, 2005 at 7:34 PM  
Blogger Wendy-Girl said...

Johnboy,
Hey there! lol...just thought i'd get on here and see what all this is about...I am so proud of you John. Really, this is a long way from that little dance studio eh?? A long way from Ocean City and "The Utensils"....the paper plate?? lol...I was reading through your posts on here, and I just want to let everyone know, even though John Driscoll might be hard on himself sometimes as far as his personal obligations to friends and his talents....he is and always has been an amazing person and a wonderful friend. Even though we might not talk as much as we used to, I will always be proud to have known you. You have been there anytime I needed you and I hope to stay friends for alot longer. Stay true to yourself Johnboy, you'll never go wrong that way ;)

July 11, 2005 at 12:35 PM  
Blogger Crazy Dan said...

Hi John Driscoll, I found your post SOFTER MOMENTS while doing some research on soap opera auditions. I like your blog, thank you for sharing the information and keep up the good work!. I really found some useful info!
I'll be back to see if you have any posts about soap opera auditions. Bye

January 18, 2006 at 4:09 PM  
Blogger angelzqq said...

Hey there. I'm not even sure if you'll read this because of the date, but I wanted to comment anyway. I've just recently found your blog and have been reading through it.

Your openness and vulnerability in this post is touching. I hate to say that again because I said that on another one of your entries, but I can't help it, it just is.

Everyone faces challenges at one point or another. Unfortunately, there are times when we all behave as less than what someone else deserves. You're very hard on yourself and I can so relate to that. The fact that you think you could have acted better says alot about you. It says that you are kind and compassionate and that you care, which makes you a better friend already. Sadly, some people never see their own shortcomings. You're blessed that you're not one of those people.

It's hard enough when we look at ourselves and see that our actions have hurt someone, but you went a step further and shared it with everyone. Thank you for sharing that part of yourself.

As far as work, everyone has off days. God knows I've had one or two myself *smiles*. Some days are more challenging than others, but I have a saying that I made up for that. "Challenges strengthen our character and broaden our viewpoints." Sometimes I'm so challenged I feel like my character is titanium, lol

I know this has been awhile ago, and I hope that your days have been alot better. But when they're not and you're challenged, just remember your character is going to be like titanium too. That's a good thing *smiles*.

Sharon

September 8, 2007 at 8:29 PM  

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